It's so weird - I don't know what to do with myself. I guess I'm not busy enough. I used to think there were so many things to do and no time - but that's changed. Why? I don't why I'm just not as interested in as many things as I used to be. It's almost like being around SO - he has such low interest in things it pulls my interest down too. He's like a creativity killer. I think it's because I am not ever able to just be alone and do my own thing - he's always hovering around me. If I am in the house and he is in the house then I MUST be interacting with him. I got to go last nite to a coffee house without him and it was soooo nice. And I do love him, I just would like for us to not be together sometimes when I am a) not at work b) out of town.
I don't even have any decisions to make. Interests outside of class will be on hiatus until he finishes.
My friend used to say that she sometimes thought about leaving her marriage. That it was so hard to deal with what her SO was going through. And then - he was looking into positions in probably other parts of the country, but that she wasn't sure she wanted to go. She thought when they got married -she was committed to "packing up everything and doing the good little wife thing" - and she had followed him. They had gone to WN and settled down, when he got a position in the middle of nowhere she dutifully followed him, but that it was driving her crazy until she could get back to the west side. So she came back, and then they sold their house there and he stayed on until he lost his job in a contentious fight. And then he lost the fight and for a longtime just sat around the house and she was really frustrated with him. But then he'd gotten a position and was so much happier and things were looking up. And that ran out - but he was still doing research work and had grants, etc. So - he then was talking about applying in different places, maybe colorado, or back to HI. But now he's gone.
What will that mean for her? She wanted to go on and study science, but with the job she felt limited and sometimes just wanted to quit and go do something else. She has a lot of other interests - mostly about water and nature - diving and boating and hiking.
