Very interesting - so I've been doing some online training, and I really like it. I just broke down and signed up for "lynda.com". I just love her - the vids are the best. And I realize what a fuck pointy-head is. I don't want to say I've wasted the past four years, but s/he's a sonofabitch that has really held me back for the past few years. I'm a little pissed off. I've liked what I've done, but if I just had been in a more supportive environment, I think I'd be a lot further ahead. I got rid of everything I owned, pulled up and moved out here, and it's been like zero support for four years. Part of this is my fault - I made these choices, I did these things, I chose to continue on with this job even when I had a cross-roads chance to chose not stay in this job. But it's still a two way street. The choices I made would only have made things better for myself. They have everything and don't know what they've got. To have their biggest limitation be over personnel issues is tragic.
Why can't I just work for someone who's normal? Jesus!
Then - it's so funny - I think my biggest tragic flaw in life is that for me to be happy, everything has to be perfect. I can't be 75% happy, or 60% happy. But - I think I've taken my job so seriously because it's all I've had for the past 8 years. I've said before, it's everything I've ever done up until this point, so I have to give myself somewhat of a break.